A transplanted Floridian calls it as he sees it...

I promise to tell all! I'll be as rufff as I have to.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

My Mommy Went Back to Work!

She says she needs to make money to buy kibble. I appreciate that, but I would be more than happy to give up kibble and just eat socks instead, if that meant she would stay home with us.

I miss afternoon packnaps.

I miss lunchtime snacks.

I miss afternoons in the sun.

I miss having Mommy home to save me from Smudgie.  He sleeps on me and then he bites me when I move.

Stay home Mommy.  Stay home.

Take care all, and stay home with your puppies.

Rudy, lonely wolf...

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Do you guys play Angry Birds?I

If you don't, you should.  It's fun.  Here's a picture of me playing Angry Birds with Daddy.

I have a very important job when we play.  I have to watch for pigs that get past Daddy and then I have to bite them.  I take my job very seriously.  Piggies beware!

Take care all, and watch out for those pigs.

Rudy, the Angry Birddog

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Can someone google this and get back to me?

Hi All,

So, I have this burning question in my mind, and I'm not sure that I am skilled enough to google it myself.  It's a simple one:

Are dogs not supposed to be carnivores?

Here's why I ask.

Every morning, when Smudgie and I go out for our first pee of the day, we check the strawberry plants with Mommy.  She always picks them in twos, and we each get one.  Now, this is a nice gesture and all, but it's not like they taste like steak.

So, I act all happy and eat my strawberry every single day (sometimes twice), and they keep coming.  And, truth be told, I do not like strawberries.  Not at all.  Do you know how hard it is to hold back on the "yuck" face I am legendary for making?

Now, as if this wasn't bad enough....yesterday the tomatoes started turning red.  And the cherry tomatoes did this in pairs.  So yesterday and today IN ADDITION to the yucky strawberries, Smudgie and I were forced to eat cherry tomatoes.

I don't want to hurt Mommy's feelings of course, and it's nice that she cares so much, but tomatoes taste a hundred times worse than strawberries.  Someone needs to call Mommy and let her know that dogs are supposed to be eating steak and chicken and rotten dead things...not fruit!

So, last night, in a desperate attempt to get something befitting a carnivore, I sneaked into the kitchen and stole the plastic wrap from the chicken package.  I swallowed it whole, and would have gotten away with it, but I made a bad decision and chose to try to steal the styrofoam tray too.  Mommy heard me chomping on that, and came running.  She figured out the plastic was missing, and you'll never guess what she did.

I found it and ate it fair and square, and after all my faking with the fresh picked fruit nonsense (yes, I heard it somewhere, tomatoes are actually fruit) you'd think they'd let me have this one, but no.

She made Daddy put me up on the counter, and they forced this icky liquid down my throat, and they made me stand there, and a few minutes later my tummy felt funny and out came the plastic wrap, and my kibble from earlier on.

This is theft.  Plain and simple.  If I can't even keep the stuff in my tummy, how on earth is that fair?

So, therein lies my problem.  I need your help.

Please let my Mommy know that for dogs it's simple:  Meat good....fruits and veggies bad.

If we all band together, we can make a change!

Take care all, and remember, meatetarians must stick together.

Rudy "Where's the Beef" Patootie

PS...I'm okay if we declare carrots to be meat, because I do like them....and peapods, too....and the occasional leaf of lettuce, and cauliflower is yummy, and even a little broccoli....and mushrooms, definitely mushrooms, but I do have to draw the line here.

Friday, August 3, 2012

So it's official...even famous people adore me!

Hi All,

Do you guys know who Anne Wheaton is?  That's ok, I didn't either until recently.  I am told you have to be really cool to know about her.  I am glad I am now finally part of the cool ones.

She is the lovely wife of nerd/geek icon Wil Wheaton, who played Wesley Crusher on Star Trek, the Next Generation.  More recently he has been on Eureka, and plays Sheldon Cooper's nemesis on the Big Bang Theory.  She is basically considered nerd/geek royalty in the sci fi community.  (Again, more stuff that sounds cool, but I don't actually understand.)  She's also pretty awesome in her own right.  My Mommy always enjoyed putting eyeballs on everything...Mrs. Wheaton actually started a movement called Vandaleyes that Mommy thinks is the coolest.

My mommy follows both of them on this thing called Twitter.  I am not really clear on what a Twitter actually is, but I have not seen any birds in the house, so at least that is a good thing.  Anyway, this morning Mommy tweeted her a picture of me sleeping on the bed, and she tweeted Mommy back and said that she thought I was cute.  And let's face it...I am kind of adorable.

So this is the picture in question.  I think it's a good one, but I am not having the best ear day in it.  But I guess Mrs. Wheaton can overlook crooked ears to see the true cuteness that lurks beneath.

Take care all, and especially you Mrs. Wheaton.  I've seen your twitter picture, and I think you're pretty cute, too.


Rudy, who is always ready for his close up.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Hi Everyone! Happy Summer!

Hi my friends.  It's your old pal Rudy here.  I have great news.  My mommy finally got a new laptop, and so I finally have a chance to do a little blogging.

Her old laptop had something called a bad fan, and couldn't be left on during the day.  It took forever to start up, and so I couldn't use it when Mommy was at work like I used to.  She got this new one to work on something called a "Master's."  I don't know about that, but she left it on an is currently slothing upstairs on the couch watching DVDs so little old me snuck back on.

Lots has happened in the last few months.   I don't know where to begin.

Mommy's best friend, her red car, died in May.  I had no idea she was so attached.  She really fell apart.  She has a new, shiny, silver one, but she says it's "too boring for words."  I don't know about that.  It has air conditioning, and that is a good thing.  On the down side, there's a "NO DOGS in the new car rule" so I haven't gotten too many rides.  You'll notice that she's already broken that silly rule, so I'm cautiously optmistic that things will be back to normal soon.

She also has this big, old yellow car.  It went to a "restoration" mechanic named Ralph, and just came home.  It's all pretty and shiny, but doesn't actually run yet.  Weird.  Daddy and Cousin Jeff are replacing something called a "head gasket."

This car is yet another vehicle Mommy won't let us ride in.  How can that possibly be fair?  She did suggest to Daddy that the trunk was big enough for me and for Smudgie, but I didn't think that was at all funny.

Speaking of Cousin Jeff...he's been over a lot lately, and he makes me obey him.  It's not fun.  He seems like a nice guy until I do something like paw at him, or stick my nose on the table, and then suddenly he's all sit/stay/down.  Pfffft.  I don't like that one bit.  And the worst part?  He has totally inspired Daddy to start enforcing rules.  Mommy I get, but seriously...DADDY?  What is up with that?

Mommy is enjoying her summer off, but she's totally ruined our nap schedule.  And you know what is the worst of all?  I have not been rollerblading lately at all!!!  The last time I went I got blisters from the hot pavement, and so the vet said no more rollerblading until my pads have healed and the heatwave ends.  It has been insanely hot here (worse than I remember in Florida) since the middle of June.  Whew.  I am so glad that Mommy and Daddy shaved me down.

Well, those are just a few of the updates for now.  I plan to blog more often now that Mommy finally got me a new computer, so I hope you are all having a wonderful summer, and I'll check back in with you as soon as I can.

Take care, and don't forget the sunblock.

Rudy, the red nosed (from the sun, get it?) Sheepdog

Saturday, March 10, 2012

I am so embarrassed

Hi All,

Just wanted to check in, and let you know about a small transgression on my part. I am so embarrassed, but I know you will all understand.

Last weekend Smudgie threw up on my dog bed. I know it's supposed to be our dog bed, but let's face it. It's mine. Just like all the toys, all the treats, the couch, and the Daddy. But I digress.

So my Daddy took off the cover and washed it, and my Mommy dried it, and then the two of them spent a really long time trying to get the insides inside nicely. They were laughing and carrying on while Smudgie and I watched from a minimum safe distance.

Sigh. Those two are so weird.

Finally it was ready but Mommy thought it was too lumpy, so Daddy called me over to try it out.

My heart soared. I ran over, jumped on, turned around twice and nested in it. It smelled good, and felt soft, and what a wonderful life I have!

If only the uprights (or upwrongs as the case may be) could have left it at that.

But no, they started cooing at me in those high pitched voices, and both were learning over me, and I didn't understand what was going on anymore, and I got scared, so I stood up and did the one thing I do when someone is standing over me in a threatening way.

I peed.

Right there, on the clean dog bed.

And it had been a long time since I went out so it was a LOT of pee.

I felt so bad.

Mommy and Daddy were very kind. They turned away, and gave me space so I wouldn't be any scareder, but it didn't help. I peed and peed and peed and peed.

So now the dog bed has been in the laundry room all week, soaking and waiting for Mommy to wash it again. I feel awful!

But at the same time, I'm sorry Mommy and Daddy, but I have to say it, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"

I hope they can forgive me. I'm working hard on forgiving them.

Take care all, and mind your pees and qs.

Rudy, the Phantom Pee-er

Monday, March 5, 2012

Do you know the Muffin Man?


I just wanted to pop in quickly and share this link with my friends. Most of you already know this story, but I wanted to share it with friends who don't.

Everyone in my house is thinking of Mr. Muffin right now, and sending good thoughts.

Rudy, a former stray (who believes in paying it forward)

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

I am still here

Hi all.

I just wanted to let you know that I am still here. It's just been really hard to get online. Mommy's really busy and her laptop is broken, so it's never on. I'm still here and I'm still thinking of you all.

I wanted to wish you a belated Happy Valentine's Day. You are all in my heart. I thought of you yesterday and wagged my stubby little tail in your honour.

In other news, Mommy cooked a very nice dinner for Daddy. And as a result, Smudgie and I got to taste steak, mushrooms, potatoes, carrots and CRAB! Life really is good.

I have a good family and they do love and take care of me. I really should reward them by giving up my passion for eating mud.

Take care all,

Rudy "Cupid" Patootie

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Just One Question

Why do I call my Mommy and Daddy UPRIGHTS when they not walking properly? They should be on all fours, like Smudgie and me.

From now on, shouldn't I be calling them UPWRONGS???!??

Just something to think about.

Gotta run.

Take care all,

Rudy (The Thinker)

Saturday, January 7, 2012

I am loving 2012 so far!

Hi all.

I hope you are enjoying the New Year. Smudgie and I are having a great one. Mommy's been home with us all week (Smudgie says that can't last), and we've had two car rides already. (Smudgie also says not to get too used to it.)

And today, it finally snowed a little. I was starting to think that Winnipeg was going to let me down completely. For those of you who don't live here (and why don't you now that I think of it), Winnipeg is all about snow. Winnipeggers pride themselves on saying things like, "Yeah, well, that wasn't too bad a storm. We only got ten centimetres...that's nothing." Then they all go out for Slurpees, even when the thermometer thingie says minus forty.

I like snow. I like to play in it and roll in it and enjoy it. It started snowing yesterday, and ended this morning, and I heard it's less than two centimetres in total, but it's still awesome. I plan to eat it all up.


Other than that not much else is really going on here. Mommy's friends came over last night and Smudgie jumped on them. I sure didn't, but I did use the distraction to help myself to some jelly candies from the table. Or at least I tried. My Mommy has really good reflexes. She had Hudson by the scruff of the neck in her right hand and with her left hand she nose blocked me at the very same time. So no jellies for Rudy.

Daddy thought it was hilarious, so he rewarded us both with cookies and dragged us both back upstairs to watch really boring and silly movies with him.

So that's about it from here. I hope you are all enjoying the New Year so far. Take care all, and make the most of it. I think this is going to be an extra special year.

Rudy, who never forgets auld acquaintances...