A transplanted Floridian calls it as he sees it...

I promise to tell all! I'll be as rufff as I have to.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Hey guys! I'm still here!

I really want to apologize for not posting much this week. Things have been super crazy in this house. Every night Smudgie and I have spent most of the evening waiting for either Mommy or Daddy to come home. We're never, ever happy until they are both safely home.

It's sure been a busy time for those uprights! Yikes.

There were some highlights to the week for us. The best part was on Wednesday when Auntie Brighit came by. We haven't seen her for a while and really missed her. Unfortunately while she was here Hudson and I both got locked in the evil bathroom. We missed the whole time she spent eating lunch. I TOLD YOU BATHROOMS ARE EVIL! Finally she heard my brother making a faint scratching noise and rescued us both. Yippppeeeee! I thought we should celebrate with steak, but she didn't seem to agree.

It's raining like crazy here. First time it's rained since I arrived. The snow melted, and Mommy said there'd be rain, but we had almost a whole month without it. Weird. Now it's coming down in buckets. I like it. It's fun to go out for a walk or a pee in the rain. Hudson HATES it. I think it's funny the way he refuses to leave the deck, pees in the plants (is Mommy ever irked) and then stomps in and glares at the uprights. Even I get that they don't actually make it rain.

All this smelly wet doggie fur has made me very affectionate on the bed at night...and guess what...I've made all the blankets smell like wet me. I must really be home now.

Well, it's late on a Friday night. Mommy's up watching some show about vampires. Daddy called it "crap" before. I don't know what the two things have in common. I just hope Mommy doesn't get bit. Sigh. Anyway, I need to get a good night's sleep. I overheard talk about "errands" tomorrow, and I'm hoping they involve two lovable sheepies. We're very good at errands.

Take care all,

Rudy (who missed you all very much)

Sunday, April 25, 2010

They must still love me. They let me have an awesome Saturday despite my "issues."

Wow, yesterday was awesome. I'm still exhausted. Even after all the stuff I did wrong (and I am really sorry), Daddy still took me (and Smudgie) for a walk. It was great. Then we all got into the big scary truck and drove all over to do errands. I was pretty good back there. I only jumped into the front seat twice. Then Daddy strapped me in and actually started the truck.

While Mommy was at Safeway I got to sit on the bench outside with Hudson. We were so good, and people kept coming up to see us. It was great. There was a charity BBQ right across from us, and when Mommy was done Daddy bought himself some burgers. Then this really nice older gentleman guilted Daddy into sharing with us. Wow. That was deeeeeeeeeeeeeeelicious!

We came home for a little while, and rested, and then we went over to my Grandma and Grandpa's house. Cousin Katie was there and I got to meet another Havanese, cousin Oreo. (I don't get it...cousin Oreo is more the colour of shortbread, but I guess that's a lot for my little brain to compute.)

I was a little crazy, but pretty good. They had this toy cow that MOOOOOOOED. Neat. I didn't cause any real trouble, but do need to apologize for the small peeing incident in the livingroom. I've never seen a box for peeing (lined with newspaper no less) before. I didn't realize it was only for cousin Oreo. I smelled pee and didn't want to be rude, so I peed in it. Turns out it was a box for SMALL dogs to pee in. It isn't big enough to hold big dog pee. Geez, someone should really put up a sign. Anyway, I'm REALLY SORRY.

Other than that I think I was a pretty good guest. I loved running around the back yard, and I really thought that ball in a sock thing was excellent.

Which brings me to the one thing I MUST tell you all. Are you ready?

HUDSON WAS A BAD DOG. HUDSON GOT IN TROUBLE.

It's so nice to not be the one. In fact, I think he may have done this to take the heat off of me for peeing in the little dog box.

Hudson climbed on the kitchen counter and ate the chocolate cake. He got in trouble! I don't like to take pleasure in the misfortune of others, but yipppppeeee! It wasn't me.

Take care all, and remember, I'm not the only one in the bad dog box.

Rudy, who did NOT steal the cake (but did lick Hudson's whiskers for an hour afterward.)

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Anyone know where I can get a "doghouse?"

Apparently I need one, because the uprights say I'm really in it now. I ooopsed a few times in the last, say, twelve hours, and I'm not sure my charm and good looks will get me by.

I peed in the bedroom last night. I don't know why. I just did. So, Mommy was in the TV room with her stupid yarn, watching Supernatural over and over again (she's addicted) and Daddy was fast asleep and I needed to pee. Yes, I did choose to drink a lot of water before bed, and yes, I even growled at Hudson when he wanted his drink, but I just was really thirsty. And then, at one in the morning I needed to go.

Sorry.

Daddy was mad. He yelled. Mommy came running. She was so disappointed in me. Yikes. Do I ever feel bad. Daddy used the steam cleaner to soak up my pee, and first thing this morning the steam cleaner was back in the room, filled with something really stinky called bleach. It doesn't smell like dogs are welcome in there anymore. Hudson assures me that HE'S still welcome in there, but we're not so sure about me.

Then, for some reason I can't explain, I ate Mommy's new plants this morning. I helped her put them in pots yesterday and she was planning to take them to school with her on Monday, but I couldn't help myself. I dug around in the pots and made a terrible mess.

I'm looking into the bad dog relocation program right now.

Daddy tried to cover for me. He told her it was a squirrel. She said that it would need to be a sixty pound squirrel to do that kind of damage. I'm totally busted.

I don't know why I do the things I do.

So, this brings me to a question I have. In an effort to get to know my new home and its culture I've been quietly following the news. Here are two tidbits...

First, some teachers in a high school in our city did a pretend lap dance at a pep rally at their school. It made it to Youtube, and it's on the news all the time. Mommy said it was horrible judgment on their part. Anyway, one is "non-renewed" and the other has resigned. The media demanded huge punishment for them, but now that it's resolved, the public wants the teachers to be given another chance.

This has to be worse than a little bedroom peeing and some innocent plant nibbling, right?

Then I read in the paper (no, I wasn't peeing on it or shredding it) that this killer name Karla Homolka has been out of jail for a while and is now applying for a pardon, and apparently the way it works is that although no one wants her to get one, the law says she's pretty much guaranteed of getting one.

This is WAAAAYYY worse than any of my "crimes." Right? Or is it just that pardons are only available for those actually BORN in this country? Am I a victim of inter-species xenophobia?

So, how does a cute, sweet, loving dog like me get a pardon? I never meant to do it. Go easy on me. Please! I'm so sorry!

Take care all, and try to stay out of trouble. It's really much better that way.

Rudy, with head down in shame

Friday, April 23, 2010

Things I've Been Pondering...


I have some thoughts...

First, if the uprights don't want to be stepped on, why don't they refrain from lying down where they will be stepped on? Doesn't everyone know beds, floors, stairs, and other flat surfaces are for walking on? If they slept standing up I wouldn't step on them.

And what's with all this food hoarding? Seriously, a dog cannot live by kibble alone! It's share time people. I came all the way from Florida to sample local cuisine and delicacies. Apparently all Manitoba has to offer is ice cubes, snow (which is now out of season), and turkey and barley kibble. This makes no sense to me.

Now, onto a positive. I noticed something. The other day my water bowl was empty, so I kicked it. I was feeling a little cranky and let down. Mommy got up and filled it immediately, so apparently kicking a water bowl when it's empty is okay. It's a good way to tell them what I need. So, (here comes the negative) why is it okay (encouraged really) to kick a water bowl when you want it filled, but kicking your Mommy or Daddy with your front paw when you want attention is apparently the greatest sin known to upright kind? I don't get this either.

It's tough being a sheepie. I really want to do good things. Honest, I do. I just don't seem to see the patterns in all of this. It's hard to get it right. The one thing I do get right is snuggling, thank goodness. Mommy says no one snuggles as nicely as I do, so I guess that's something.

Take care all, and make clear your requirements. (I heard that from my Grandpa.)

Rudy, confused and snuggly.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Puppyschool is F U N

I just wanted to let all my friends know that I didn't blog last night because I was out at Puppyschool. I really like Puppyschool. It would be better, however, if Smudgie and I BOTH went at the same time. But since we both act badly there together, the uprights won't take us both. Personally, I think it has more to do with the fact that the Big Bang Theory is on TV on Mondays. Bazinga! That must be it.

Anyway, I freaked Daddy out by barking like a maniac when I was there, and then I did all the obedience stuff really well. It's important to keep uprights just a little off balance. Apparently Hudson was at home messing with Mommy. He behaved well on his walk with her, and even sat nicely while a stranger petted him. This is not normal for him, and must just be to freak her out too.

After all, we are a team!

Take care all,

Rudy, the enigma

Sunday, April 18, 2010

More good things...


This day continues to amaze me. I had my first steak BBQ (and got to be outside for the whole thing), and my first dinner outside on the deck. Yippeee! And Mommy gave each of us charming puppies a little piece of T Bone Steak.

It was everything I dared to dream it would be.

Life is good.

Rudy, the outdoorsman

pant pant gasp pant pant yipppeee

I just wanted to let you all know that today was the best day ever.

My Daddy took Smudgie and I (separately) roller blading. He taught me how to pull. It's fun when I wear my harness and I can really run as fast as I want, with Daddy dragging behind saying, "Wheeee!"

Then we rested for a bit and watched some Supernatural episodes with Mommy. She took a little nap and Hudson needed to pee so he whined at her, but she didn't get up, so he barked right in her face. It was so funny. She actually hit the ceiling! I'm thinking maybe I should learn to tell the uprights what I need.

Then....a little while later....Mommy and Daddy took us for a HUGE, LONG walk. The whole family had a really good time. We practiced sits and stays, and I got to meet lots of people and I hardly jumped on any of them. I even did a pretty good job of almost ignoring a really obnoxious schnauzer on a chain. Yay for me.

I can't write anymore. I am now

too tired

to g o
o n.
M ust sleeeeeep now...........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Rudy, ZZZZZmeister

Saturday, April 17, 2010

I just thought I'd let you know the newest new rule

These uprights sure are full of rules. I don't get it at all. Here's what happened, see if YOU think I did anything wrong.

On Friday my Grandma and Grandpa came over to our house (did you notice, OUR house?) for a BBQ. It was my first, official time hosting a BBQ. I take my new responsibilities very seriously, of course. Daddy bought a chicken...or so he says. It was over nine pounds and Mommy made a mean comment about it being a turkey, but it all looked just fine to me. Mommy came right home after work (I'm all for that) and put this ginormous chicken on this spikey thing, and it turned around and around on the BBQ all by itself. (Note to self: Look up ghosts...are any of them helpful and friendly types that would do this for a nice family like mine?)

Mommy got the burners going, and this delicious chicken was just starting to cook, when she decided to season it. My mouth was watering. But I sat like a very good boy right beside her the whole time. After all, it was my job to make sure that everything was perfect. Then, something came over me. I knew I was not doing my duty to the best of my ability. I hadn't taste tested the chickenturkeyelephant on the grill. I didn't want to bother Mommy, so I just went up on my back legs and tried to jump into the BBQ, to have a little taste. It's important to collect baseline data BEFORE you mess about with variables. How was I to know if the finished chicken was any good if I didn't try the raw?

Mommy has amazing reflexes. She didn't even turn her body. As I leapt into the air, her arm swatted me back (kinda like a tennis racquet hits a tennis ball) and I flew back down. As I rolled head over heels on the deck (do I even have heels?) she then turned to me and said, "NO!"

So, apparently, rule 6,423 around here is, "No jumping into hot BBQs to taste test chickens of unusual size." I suspect this will hold true no matter what the size of the chicken might be. This just sucks.

Today when I scared a birdie and wanted to chase it by running directly through a fence I got another "NO!" What is up with birds? When did they all get special status above cute little sheepdogs? And how come I didn't get to taste any of the "after" chicken either? I may have to make my own picket sign and go on strike.

Well, I just don't know what to say. There are lots of reasons I love it here, but does anyone know how I can get the uprights to understand that they need to cut it out? No more rules. It's time to let Rudy make his own choices....and I choose BBQ!

Take care all,

Rudy, Master of the Grill

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

This house is clearly haunted.

Yikes.

I'm a little spooked right now.

Last night, while we were all fast asleep there was a huge crash. Daddy got up to try to check it out and I hid behind him while he did. In the dark he couldn't find anything, but this morning we discovered that Mommy's favourite hanging plant (a bloodleaf....how macabre) fell to its death overnight.

Daddy says the plastic got brittle from being in a sunny window and that there's nothing more to it than that. I know better. I'm sure it was a ghost. In fact, judging by the damage and the muddy stains all over the carpet, I suspect an alligator ghost. Those are especially awful. Yikes again.

Mommy and Daddy seem strangely unaware of the danger. Daddy needs to get a belt for the vacuum cleaner so he can clean it up. Mommy already got most of the dirt up, and says she'll steam clean it tonight. (Personally, I'm happy to see the steam cleaner used for something other than cleaning up my pee. It takes the pressure off.) Personally, I think she's so zen because she has had a major headache for two days now, and she's home in bed, hopped up on T3s. I don't know what a T3 is, but Mommy really is happy and nice when she takes them. She says she has a friend named Denise who feels the same way. Maybe I'll see if I can pick up some T3s for her next time I go shopping. It seems like the least I can do. Can you get them at 7/11? They have these wonderful things called Slurpees there.

By the way, did you know that Winnipeg (my hometown now) is the Slurpee Capital of North America? I'm so proud to be a part of that. It turns out I really love Slurpees myself. Yum. Yum. Yummy.

Well, I should go check on Mommy now. She's not feeling well, and it's always nice to be taken care of when you need it. She takes really good care of Smudgie and me, so it's time to return the favour. We'll even try not to have a bitey fight on the bed, and if we do, I'll try not to sit on her head too much.

Take care all, and take care Mommy!

Ghostfacer Rudy

Monday, April 12, 2010

AND ANOTHER NEW RULE ! ! !

It is against the rules, in this house, for a happy go lucky sheepie to jump up on the kitchen table during dinner time, and accidentally knock an extra large glass of iced tea with his handsome and delicate paw so that it spills all over Mommy's super special "had to be ordered from Toronto and originally set up with an Ontario number just to get it here" Palm Pro Cell Phone.


Man, did she shriek.


I felt bad, and offered to lick it up, but Mommy wouldn't hear of it.


It turned out just fine. The phone is okay now. And I don't think that the iced tea inside of it could possibly be the reason that it turned itself on last night and took dozens of pictures of the pitch dark bedroom while we were all sleeping. And even if that was my fault, it stopped when the battery ran out, and it seems to be working now. It's not like it took THAT much time for Mommy to delete all those pictures of blackness.

It's so hard being a sheepie.




I really, REALLY mean well. Honest, I do.

Take care all,

Rudy (the contrite)

Sunday, April 11, 2010

BEWARE! BEWARE! SAVE YOURSELVES!

There is an evil presence in my new home. It's a room too evil to even speak of, really, but I must. I want to warn all my friends so they can save themselves and their loved ones.

It's called a bathroom. We have more than one in my new home, but only the one is evil. It's on the main floor. It looks like a perfectly safe room in the house, but when an innocent dog wanders in to check things out, the door closes ON ITS OWN.

And then that's that. You are trapped. No one can save you. No one can hear you scream. (Although, to be fair, I haven't figured out how to tell the uprights stuff yet and so I didn't try to scream.) I just had to lie down patiently and wait for death to take me, hoping it would be quick and painless.

After what had to be days, maybe even weeks, or possibly a month I heard the uprights calling my name. For a moment I dared to hope, but realized that no one can overcome the power of the bathroom door. Again, I gave up and resigned myself to my fate. My one final wish was that I'd had more time with my new family. I really like it here, and would have liked to be able to stay. I really, really wanted to try some more roller blading before my untimely end. A silent tear welled up in my eye.

Then suddenly, my all powerful Mommy overcame the evil bathroom door, and flung it open. Hallelujah! I was saved! Praise Mommy!

I ran out of that evil bathroom so fast, and wagged my bum almost completely off. My Mommy laughed so hard at me (I'm sure it was just a laugh of joy that I had been saved) and she and Daddy referred to me as something called a "bozo." I'm not sure what it means, but it must certainly refer to my courage in the face of impending death.

Strangely, even though I was away from them, locked in the evil bathroom, for nearly a month and possibly an entire season, they were still wearing the same clothes when they found me. Isn't that awesome? They love me so much that they looked and looked and looked and didn't even stop to change their clothes! In fact, the glasses of iced tea on the table still looked to be at the exact same level of fullness as they were when I first went missing. They didn't even stop for a drink to sustain themselves.

I vow to NEVER get trapped in that bathroom again. Never. Ever. I think this last time was definitely THE last time. (And I'm not ashamed to admit there have been many.)

Take care all, and watch out for evil bathrooms!

Rudy, proud Bozo and bathroom apocalypse survivor

Saturday, April 10, 2010

I just had the most amazing experience

I went roller blading with my Daddy! I had no idea such an amazing thing existed. I got to run and run and run, and he wore this wheel thingies on his feet and a funny plastic thing on his head and he was able to keep up.

Smudgie and I went together, and I don't think he knows how to do it right. He jumps and bites his leash while we run. It's goofy.

I had so much fun. I heard Daddy say I knew how to do it right. Yay for me! When we got back Mommy was just coming up the driveway and we were both too tired to even jump on her.

It's fun running faster than the wind. It's fun pulling Daddy down the street. It felt like no one could ever run as fast as me. Roller blading is AWESOME.

I hope we do it again....lots. Daddy was pretty tired afterwards. I don't get that. It was Smudgie and I who did all the pulling. He was just along for the ride. Don't tell him I said that, though. I don't want to discourage him for next time. In fact, why isn't it next time yet?

Maybe they'll get me a cute little helmet to match Daddy's. Wouldn't that be cute? I think I'll start looking on Ebay right now.

Take care all! And go roller blading! It rocks.

Rudy, the world's fastest dog

Friday, April 9, 2010

I Have a Confession to Make

My name is Rudy.

And sometimes, I.....pee....in....the.........house.

There. I've said it.

I feel really bad about it. I like it here. It's a nice house. It's a great home. I've never really had a home before and I like having a home and I feel really bad about peeing in my home and I want to stay here in my home so I know I should stop peeing in my home but I don't seem to be able to.

I feel really bad about it.

I always mean not to. And then....I do it again. And then....I feel terrible all over again.

Sigh.

Mommy says I'll get the idea one day. She and Daddy have both told me that they'll love me forever even if I don't figure this out (but they really believe I will). They've both said that I can stay here forever no matter what. So why do I feel so guilty?

I guess I'm just sharing it with all of you guys here to help me think it all through. I'm going to keep trying to figure this out. I'm doing pretty good, I think. I only "oops" once or twice a week, but Mommy says that housebreaking (whatever that word means) is an absolute. There's no "almost." She says that one day, soon, I'll get there.

I'm glad they say they'll forgive me no matter what. I'm trying really, really hard.

Keep your fingers crossed for me. I'm going to try keeping my legs crossed. Maybe that will bring me more luck than fingers.

Take care all,

Rudy the "almost" housebroken

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

I just want to say hi.

Sorry all. This has to be short. Mommy's laptop is still in the shop and I have to stand on my tip tip tippytoes to type on Daddy's computer, which is really hard, so I really can't say much today.

Just wanted to let you know I'm still thinking of you!

Take care all!

Rudy, on pointe

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

So this thing called Spring Break has ended...


I'm really sad. It was fun having an upright home at all times, and now it's over. Woe is me. Woe is Rudy.

I'm lonely at home during the day, and Smudgie won't come down and see me. He sleeps on the bed. I wish I could be free when Mommy and Daddy are gone. Mommy says that isn't going to happen anytime soon. Apparently I wasn't supposed to chew the brush yesterday when Daddy went down for a shower. And I didn't mean to ruin the orange thing she was crocheting. It looked yummy. And besides, it only took her twenty minutes to find the missing crochet hook. I don't understand what all the fuss was about. There was even talk of taking me to the vet for something called an X ray to find it. How could they find it at the vet when I chewed up her stuff at home? Uprights don't get it.

Anyway, I think Mommy fixed her thingie...it still looks like a funny orange scarf to me, and the hook was found, and the brush still works so what's the big deal? I even managed to be really good at obedience last night so that's got to count for something.

Well, I guess I'll take a nap now. It's going to be at least a week until the uprights come home from work. Poor, lonely me. Again I say, "Woe is me. Woe is Rudy."

Take care all, and spend time with your loved ones. Don't leave them in a crate.

Rudy, locked in the big house.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

HAPPY EASTER!

I really don't understand how all this works, but Mommy says that while we slept the Easter Bunny came and left us treats. I guess the house isn't as secure as she likes to think. I was on watch last night, and this rabbit guy got past me, I'm embarrassed to admit.

Smudgie and I came downstairs this morning and there were Easter Kibbles everywhere! I sniffed so hard finding them all I thought my head was going to explode. Some were on the pine chairs in the living room and they were tucked in so we had to do a lot of thinking to figure out how to get to them. Some were on the hearth (not only do I have my own family now, I even have my own hearth...neat) and some were on the bookshelves. There were even little piles on the windowsills. It took us hours and hours (Mommy says not quite) to find and eat them all.

How delightful!

I will have to investigate this Easter thingie further. I'm hoping it's a biweekly holiday...at least.

So Happy Easter to all my friends all over the world. And enjoy your kibbles!

Take care,

Rudy, the Easter Sheepie

Friday, April 2, 2010

I just don't understand Winnipeg weather.

So, my snow was gone. Then, it came back for a day. Then it was gone. And guess what? The weatherman (who cannot say the word "southern" right by the way) just said that there will be lots of snow tonight. This should make me happy, but then he said it will be eight degrees C (that C stands for Canadian) tomorrow and so it will all go.

The weather in Florida was never this confusing, and their degrees were in Fs (F for Florida I guess...eight degrees F was unheard of there).

I'm so confused.

So, I'm hoping for snow that comes and stays but Mommy says I shouldn't hold my breath. That makes even less sense. Why would I want to hold my breath? Unrights sure are funny.

Now, on the sad news front. Tonight I decided to try pushing the patio door open for the first time. Guess what Daddy did? He closed it first. I ran full force into a glass door. That was embarrassing and painful. Mommy rushed to comfort me and Daddy laughed. I guess I'll step on Daddy's face a few extra times tonight. Or maybe I'll just stay up late and watch the snow fall.

Life is so confusing.

Take care all,

Meteorologist Rudy

Happy Good Friday

I'm not really sure what it's all about, but here's my guess. Today is "Good Friday" so I'm thinking Smudgie and I need to be especially good. This will not be difficult for me.

It appears that, in exchange for the two of us being "good" Mommy and Daddy will both stay home from work today. Pretty good deal.

I've just got one question....Why, after all our beautiful weather (except for the missing snow), would it be yucky and rainy on "good" Friday? Shouldn't someone do something about that?

Take care all, and be good. It is Good Friday after all!

Rudy (always fighting for Team Good)