I don't know what I'm doing wrong here.

Two days ago Mommy was on the phone about the fridge (again...and she's ticked!) I could tell she was busy so I kicked the door quietly to go out, but she couldn't come so I quietly pooped in the living room, and then felt bad about it so I tried to eat it up so she wouldn't know.

She caught me, and was really mad. She wouldn't give me kisses all day. She kept calling me Poopmouth. I didn't like that.

Yesterday I figured I'd just save us all a little time so I pooped in the living room again, but this time I didn't eat it. I learned my lesson yesterday. If you eat poop you get no kisses.

Today Mommy keeps dragging me outside and ordering me to poo. She says I'll get no freedom until I do. Sheesh. Who can poo with that kind of pressure? Seriously.

I've no idea what to do now. She's just sitting here, staring at me. I'm not allowed out of her sight. This must be against some rules or laws. Is it doggie abuse to stare at one's beloved dog nonstop, without blinking? She's acting weird. Maybe the fever's back?!!!

Help me! I'm totally freaked out by this. She just stares and stares and stares and won't let me leave her side. We've been out at least ten times already, and she's already got that look again....help!

Take care all, and don't stare at your pets. It's creepy.

Rudy, avoiding eye contact

Mommy's still in bed.

Do you think she's still sick, or do you think she's just become addicted to daytime TV? I don't know for sure, but I think someone needs to do something. Smudgie and I are bored. B O R E D.

Take care all,

Rudy (yawn)

And one more quiet question...

How come Mommy's too sick to play with us, but she was still able to book her flight to Vancouver in August? Hmmmm? She and Uncle Garth are planning to go all the way there to see something called an Impala. Actually, she says it's not AN Impala, it's THE Impala. I don't get it?!?! Do you?

(This Supernatural Motivational Poster was created by Ardeospina, a very talented woman who posts regularly at thewinchesterfamilybusiness.com. There is a whole set posted there, if you'd like to see all of them. New ones appear daily.)

Take care all,

Rudy (bewitched, bothered, and bewildered)

Read this very quietly...

Sorry I haven't posted lately, but my Mommy's been really sick, and we've all had to be really quiet around here. I feel bad for her and all, but frankly, I'm bored.

She thought she was better yesterday and went to get her nails done (Daddy just rolls his eyes at that), and anyway, she passed out at the salon...whatever that means.

Now she's mad because when the salon called Daddy to come and get her he didn't answer, so she ended up driving herself home. She made it okay, but I don't think she should have done that. Daddy's laying low until it blows over.

So, please read this very quietly. I'm typing in silence so the clacking doesn't wake her up. She's very cranky when she's sick.

Take care all, and especially Mommy. We need you back. We're bored.

Rudy (Chairman of the Bored)

It wasn't me!

I did NOT throw up in bed last night. I know it wasn't me. Smudgie is the one who always pukes, so why did I get the same raised eyebrows when Mommy found it this morning? Why did I get the deep sigh? Why was I kicked off the bed while she changed the sheets?

Look, if it was a midnight peeing I might well be the guilty party, but midnight barfing is strictly Smudgie's schtick. So why won't Hudson fess up?

Take care all, and try to jump OUT of bed before you barf. I'm just saying...

Rudy, who is gastronomically intact

Just one question...

What on earth are these? And why on earth are they looking at me?




Okay, granted....that's really two questions.

Rudy, the intrigued

The Park is Still There!

Mommy and Daddy and Smudgie and me got to go to the park again today. That's that big one across the river. I saw squirrels and chipmunks and trees and grass and about a million ducks.

I really liked the ducks.

Mommy thinks it's strange that I love the ducks and don't want to chase them or bother them at all, but I have "issues" with other dogs. Clearly Mommy just doesn't get it.

We walked and walked and walked, and I sniffed hundreds of trees. Every single one was more exciting than the one before it. I got to hang out by the duck pond. It was cool, but I did keep an eye out for gators. You never know when one of those is lurking just beneath the surface. I do think, however, that with all those ducks there he'd have to eat one of them first, so I'd have time to make good my escape.

Then, after we walked for hours, or maybe days, possibly even weeks, we found the truck again and Mommy brought out a picnic breakfast just for us. We ate our kibble in the park! What a brilliant idea this was. We LOVED it. Kibble tasted better in the wild. That's for sure.

Well, I'm off for a nap in my crate, so I can dream about all of today's grand adventures. Take care all.

Rudy, the explorer

PS This is a picture of the Witch's Hut from my park. It's not that scary though. I've been inside when the witch wasn't home.

Socks

I will not eat socks.
I will not eat socks.
I will not eat socks.
I will not eat socks.
I will not eat socks.
I will not eat socks.
I will not eat socks.
I will not eat socks.
I will not eat socks.
I will not eat socks.
I will not eat socks.
I will not eat socks.
I will not eat socks.
I will not eat socks.
I will not eat socks.
I will not eat socks.
I will not eat socks.
I will not eat socks.

But, shouldn't Daddy stop leaving them out for me?

I will not eat socks.
I will not eat socks.
I will not eat socks.
I will not eat socks.


Rudy, in the doghouse again

Stew.

I'm writing today about stew. Yesterday Mommy made it. I'm pretty sure it was some elaborate attempt to destroy Smudgie and me. Do others make this thing called stew? I think it should be illegal.

She started yesterday at eight in the morning. First she put fake flour (she's allergic to real) on some perfectly good looking raw meat, and then she cooked it with onions in this really big pot. The smell was AMAZING.

Hudson and I planted ourselves in the kitchen all day, breathing in that glorious smell. And she NEVER LET US TASTE IT.

That is horribly unfair. We did all that supervising, and got paid nothing.

All day long she'd go and stir it. Then, in the afternoon, she added all sorts of yummy things. Potatoes, carrots, celery, cauliflower, beans, corn, peas...It's killing me to list them all. Yum. Yum.

But no. Not one taste for the good dogs of the house.

During dinner Daddy slipped us a little under the table. It was fantastic, but it was only a little taste, and there was tons left over. So, I thought I'd share my thoughts, which are summed up below:

Beef Stew is good.
Not sharing is bad.
Mommy should share.

I think that says it all. Hudson says he got a whole bowl of stew while I was napping, but I think he's lying. I never nap, Mommy and Daddy would not leave me out, and I checked. His beard and breath did NOT smell like stew. I think he's just doing his big brother thing and messing with me.

Take care all, and send stew.

Rudy, who is still stewing about this.

Did you know that there are these things called parks? And apparently, they made lots of them!

Mommy and Daddy often take "the boys" to Fraser's Grove Park. I knew all about that one. It's nice, and I really thought it was huge, but what do I know?

Then, they started taking us to this place called Bird's Hill Park. Mommy said it was really big, but the part I saw wasn't all that big. It was called Burr Oak Trail. It's nice, but it's just a big path to walk along. There's no room for adventures or side trips.

Well, all of that changed this weekend. We went to a place called Kildonan Park! Smudgie says that's what we stare at out the window all the time. It's across the river from our house. I had no idea! (And, I think it's cruel to make a dog stare across the river at a park and NOT take him or her there daily.)

We went, and we walked and walked and walked. It's a BIG park and I got to see lots of it. There were all these people having BBQs and picnics. (It wouldn't have killed them to share, by the way.) There were kids playing something called soccer. Too bad I was on my leash. I sure wanted to grab that ball and run with it! There were duck ponds and flower gardens and something called the "witches' hut!" It was pure sheepdoggie heaven!

I fussed at one dog, but then I actually met one I liked. I didn't put up a fuss at all. Mommy and Daddy hugged me, and petted me, and praised me. I had no idea this was so important to them. We walked for what seemed like hours. It was hot, and Smudgie pooped out as usual, but I could have walked for days!

They tried to get us to drink out of this funny water tap, but neither of us would have anything to do with that, so they sprayed us with water to cool us down. I liked it, but it clearly irked the Smudge.

When we got back to the truck Mommy and Daddy gave us water in an almost proper bowl so we had a nice drink and then collapsed in the back seat. Daddy made sure the back windows were open about halfway so we could enjoy the breeze (and the smells) but we couldn't jump out. I don't know why Mommy worries about that so much, but she does. Why on earth would I ever want to jump OUT of the truck when the family I've waited so long to find is sitting IN the truck? Do they think I'm not smart?

Hudson says that there are parks all over the city, and in other cities too. I'm so happy. I hope I get to see each and every one. Hudson can come too, if he promises to keep up. Silly dog. He acts as if having legs half as long as mine is some sort of excuse!

Well, I must go folks. I'm going to take a nap and dream of parks I have yet to visit. Sigh. Life is good.

Take care all, and head for your nearest park immediately!

Park Ranger Rudy

PS In other news, Daddy called IBM to see about buying some new keys for his laptop, and it turns out that it's "covered" under something called a "warranty." I don't know what that means, but it seems good. He's almost forgiven me for my slight transgression earlier. I still maintain it's not my fault. If the keys didn't smell like a yummy food treat, I wouldn't treat them that way. Honest!

PPS Mommy still hasn't gone to work. Do you think she got amnesia? We like having her at home and all, but who's watching those kids?