Anyone know where I can get a "doghouse?"

Apparently I need one, because the uprights say I'm really in it now. I ooopsed a few times in the last, say, twelve hours, and I'm not sure my charm and good looks will get me by.

I peed in the bedroom last night. I don't know why. I just did. So, Mommy was in the TV room with her stupid yarn, watching Supernatural over and over again (she's addicted) and Daddy was fast asleep and I needed to pee. Yes, I did choose to drink a lot of water before bed, and yes, I even growled at Hudson when he wanted his drink, but I just was really thirsty. And then, at one in the morning I needed to go.

Sorry.

Daddy was mad. He yelled. Mommy came running. She was so disappointed in me. Yikes. Do I ever feel bad. Daddy used the steam cleaner to soak up my pee, and first thing this morning the steam cleaner was back in the room, filled with something really stinky called bleach. It doesn't smell like dogs are welcome in there anymore. Hudson assures me that HE'S still welcome in there, but we're not so sure about me.

Then, for some reason I can't explain, I ate Mommy's new plants this morning. I helped her put them in pots yesterday and she was planning to take them to school with her on Monday, but I couldn't help myself. I dug around in the pots and made a terrible mess.

I'm looking into the bad dog relocation program right now.

Daddy tried to cover for me. He told her it was a squirrel. She said that it would need to be a sixty pound squirrel to do that kind of damage. I'm totally busted.

I don't know why I do the things I do.

So, this brings me to a question I have. In an effort to get to know my new home and its culture I've been quietly following the news. Here are two tidbits...

First, some teachers in a high school in our city did a pretend lap dance at a pep rally at their school. It made it to Youtube, and it's on the news all the time. Mommy said it was horrible judgment on their part. Anyway, one is "non-renewed" and the other has resigned. The media demanded huge punishment for them, but now that it's resolved, the public wants the teachers to be given another chance.

This has to be worse than a little bedroom peeing and some innocent plant nibbling, right?

Then I read in the paper (no, I wasn't peeing on it or shredding it) that this killer name Karla Homolka has been out of jail for a while and is now applying for a pardon, and apparently the way it works is that although no one wants her to get one, the law says she's pretty much guaranteed of getting one.

This is WAAAAYYY worse than any of my "crimes." Right? Or is it just that pardons are only available for those actually BORN in this country? Am I a victim of inter-species xenophobia?

So, how does a cute, sweet, loving dog like me get a pardon? I never meant to do it. Go easy on me. Please! I'm so sorry!

Take care all, and try to stay out of trouble. It's really much better that way.

Rudy, with head down in shame