I just thought I'd let you know the newest new rule

These uprights sure are full of rules. I don't get it at all. Here's what happened, see if YOU think I did anything wrong.

On Friday my Grandma and Grandpa came over to our house (did you notice, OUR house?) for a BBQ. It was my first, official time hosting a BBQ. I take my new responsibilities very seriously, of course. Daddy bought a chicken...or so he says. It was over nine pounds and Mommy made a mean comment about it being a turkey, but it all looked just fine to me. Mommy came right home after work (I'm all for that) and put this ginormous chicken on this spikey thing, and it turned around and around on the BBQ all by itself. (Note to self: Look up ghosts...are any of them helpful and friendly types that would do this for a nice family like mine?)

Mommy got the burners going, and this delicious chicken was just starting to cook, when she decided to season it. My mouth was watering. But I sat like a very good boy right beside her the whole time. After all, it was my job to make sure that everything was perfect. Then, something came over me. I knew I was not doing my duty to the best of my ability. I hadn't taste tested the chickenturkeyelephant on the grill. I didn't want to bother Mommy, so I just went up on my back legs and tried to jump into the BBQ, to have a little taste. It's important to collect baseline data BEFORE you mess about with variables. How was I to know if the finished chicken was any good if I didn't try the raw?

Mommy has amazing reflexes. She didn't even turn her body. As I leapt into the air, her arm swatted me back (kinda like a tennis racquet hits a tennis ball) and I flew back down. As I rolled head over heels on the deck (do I even have heels?) she then turned to me and said, "NO!"

So, apparently, rule 6,423 around here is, "No jumping into hot BBQs to taste test chickens of unusual size." I suspect this will hold true no matter what the size of the chicken might be. This just sucks.

Today when I scared a birdie and wanted to chase it by running directly through a fence I got another "NO!" What is up with birds? When did they all get special status above cute little sheepdogs? And how come I didn't get to taste any of the "after" chicken either? I may have to make my own picket sign and go on strike.

Well, I just don't know what to say. There are lots of reasons I love it here, but does anyone know how I can get the uprights to understand that they need to cut it out? No more rules. It's time to let Rudy make his own choices....and I choose BBQ!

Take care all,

Rudy, Master of the Grill